I have heard it said that some think I do what I do (sponsoring, fostering, adopting) to fill some void in my life. Quite frankly this hurts. Its not that I care that much what people think of me. Its that I want them to understand that it is the joy of the Lord and His love that makes me want to do what I do. Although these things do bring me immeasurable joy, I don't do them to fill a void. I do them because of the joy, fulfillment, and peace that I have found in God. And I can't help but want... but long, to help those that He loves as much as He loves me. When I have been so blessed, how could I not want to share it.
And it is addicting!
Perhaps that is why some think I'm filling a void, because I always want to do more. (Yes, I am already thinking of adopting again.) And I suppose I will never be satisfied with what I have done. No, as long as there are starving children and orphans, I will never be satisfied.
So satisfied? No.
But filled with peace and joy? Yes.
I think being satisfied with the little bits we do can be dangerous. It leads us to give a little here, text the word "haiti" to give $10 there, perhaps even sponsor a child... and then pat ourselves on the back and say "well, at least I did something." All the while missing some other need that we could be filling.
A while back I began praying that my heart would be broken by the things that brake the heart of God. This is where it has lead me. It has brought me so much joy. (I cannot and do not want to imagine my life without Carington.) But I cannot pretend that it has not also brought pain. My thoughts and dreams are often filled with the faces of the children left behind. My heart aches for them. I long to do more. So perhaps wanting to do more is to fill a void, the void of a child that goes to bed hungery, the void of a child that works full time at the age of 5 to earn one meal a day, the void of a child with no family to call her own. These are God's children. And my life is so full because of my God. WHY NOT use my fullness to fill their void?
And in the process, yes, I receive joy. Not a filled void, but Joy in the Lord, in His ability to use little old me.
"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of those who are evil, but because of those that don't do anything about it."- Albert Einstein
P.S. If anyone does want to sponsor a child click below. http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm?referer=82335
I know, I'm sorry. I just can't help myself:-)
