Rwanda Family Reunion 2011

Carrington wanted to hang with the boys on the Merry-go-round but was to shy.

Hangin with Judah and Elsa

Making plans to stay up past midnight. These 3 could party late! We'd hear them giggling and then they'd pretend to be asleep when they heard us coming!

Trying to get them all in one shot.

Re-enacting a pic we took in Rwanda, but we're missing the Thomas's and Watsons

Outside the Spaghetti Warehouse with most of the Rwanda Mamas that were there.

We flew to Chicago and road tripped with Rebecca and Elsa Furr to Omaha. These 2 did great in the car.

Below are the ladies and babies that stayed together since our husbands and older kids couldn't come. We had a blast!

When we started the adoption process I expected to gain a daughter. What I never expected was to gain an entire new extended family. But that is exactly what has happened. I cannot imagine our family without our daughter, but I also can't imagine life now without my new family, my sister's in Christ.

We pray, worry, laugh, cry, rejoice and find support together. We are there for each other when we experience the inevitable struggles that come, and we understand each other like no one else can. Who else understands what its like to long for the children left behind? Who else understands the desire to be able to tell her birth mother how amazing she is? Who else understands the love for your child and the pain when others don't share the same sentiment? Who else understands what its like to be on display everywhere you go? (And man oh man, were we on display this weekend! "Are you guys part of some sort of organization?")

We stay connected in many ways. Via phone, email, snail mail, blogs, FB, skype, chat groups, and now reunions. But regardless of how we stay connected, the fact remains. We ARE connected.

And not because of the things listed above. We are connected because our children are forever connected. There are so many questions that our children will ask one day. And there are few answers. The only people that will truly be able to understand and help Carrington when those difficult times come are the children who were a part of her life before I was.

That is why this weekend was so beautiful. It was inspiring on so many levels. I love hearing the stories of how God is leading. I enjoyed every second. I feel so rejuvenated and understood. I laughed and cried. I even screamed like a school girl when I first spotted Becky who I traveled to Rwanda with. But what truly made it so special was to see our kids together, to recognize the connection that they share and see how far they have come. And to recognize that God not only brought these children to us, but He brought ALL of us together to share this amazing journey.

Living My Life

Warning! Soapbox ahead, proceed with caution.

I have discovered that the thing that brings me the most joy in life is to follow what God calls me to do. Nothing compares.

Nothing.

This is when I feel the most alive, fulfilled, joyful, patient, loving.... the list could go on and on. So imagine my confusion a few days ago when someone who is very close to me says, "At some point you've got to start living your life."

Huh?

This statement was said after a discussion about how Greg and I want to adopt again someday. Now I KNOW that I often don't look like the picture of joy and fulfillment. I know that, God forbid, you should happen to see me in Walmart with 3 kids, you would see a red head racing down the isles like a mad woman, yelling at her kids to stop touching things. You'd likely see a woman that looks haggard, stressed and just plain exhausted. I know that even in church, my face shows the stress of keeping my 2littlest ones from killing each other (we don't even shoot for quiet, no bodily injuries and we call it a success!). I am not naive to this fact. But I'd like to bring up an old worn out saying.

You can't judge a book by its cover.

Or more importantly, what you believe is truly living might not be what someone else believes truly living is. Yes, I am exhausted. Yes, I am sometimes stressed (OK, a lot of times). Yes, sometimes I just need to NOT be needed! But, BUT I am also more fulfilled than ever before. I am more confident than ever before. I have an inner joy that I have never known before. Because my fulfillment, confidence and joy are not based upon circumstance or even screaming children. These are based on living the life that God has given me, on pursuing the things that HE places on my heart, and on knowing that I am never doing this of my own strength.

Never.

At a graduation speech last year the question was asked "whats the one thing you want out of life?". My immediate answer, "To live in the center of God's will." Because I know there is NO greater joy.

Whats that song that says "Where you go I'll go, when you stay I'll stay, where you move I'll move. I will follow you."

That's all I need to feel like I am really living my life.

And for the first time, I feel like the expectations or criticism of others can't touch me. I was just confused by the statement mentioned above, and sorry that this person did not understand what "living my life" means to me. That I'm not waiting for something better (other than heaven of course!). I wasn't angry, defensive or hurt. I really only have one person to answer to. And that brings a peace that I can not explain. I know who I am. More importantly I know whose I am.

And I'm so happy to be living my life.

Meeting Carington one year ago today

I cannot believe its been a whole year, and yet I feel like she has always been here. Its really hard to imagine that there was a time when she wasn't with us. I am feeling so sentimental and nostalgic lately. I'm remembering every detail that I possibly can. I miss Rwanda. I loved it there. The whole experience was just amazing! I am so grateful.